ROXY

New blog

2010-11-25T04:44:00.002-05:00

I love blogspot and I will continue to write on blogspot, but I also love tumblr. I have created a new blog which I think is easier for me to write and contribute on.

Click here for my new blog =)

“My Smile is the make-up I wear...”

2010-11-02T05:41:00.000-04:00

What started out as a dream job into the amazing world of travel, ended up in a shit storm. Yesterday, I quit my job. It feels so good to say that. At this point, I feel like making references to a book called “Promises not Kept” which talks about how some country leaders make promises to the people and almost none of those promises were kept. So yeah, imagine Bezmialem Vakif University (the ‘institution’ that I worked at) as the country leaders. They made promises to their people (staff and students) and none of those promises are fulfilled. This is a school which was built on false promises. They do not know how to deal with foreigners. On more than one occasion, they have succeeded in insulting and disrespecting me and on top of that, there has been a total lack of communication between those on top and the staff members. Obviously, when your own boss refuses to acknowledge your presence then you know that trouble is ahead. I did not. I thought this sort of thing was culturally acceptable, until I learned better. It was an unhealthy working environment and everyday it would break my smile, break my morale and break my mood. All that I’m thankful for now is that I’m out, and I’m happy. Now I can finally say that I quit my first ‘real’ job...well my first full-time job.

I’m back to the drawing board of job hunting. Eeek

I got my Holga!

2010-10-23T09:40:00.000-04:00

The azan is starting to become a peaceful daily thing for me now. Being in Istanbul for over a month now, I am often at peace when the azan starts playing. The best part is that it’s done ‘live’ and not recorded. I do get a bit annoyed when they change the guy who calls the azan at the mosque which is close to my flat because I’m so used to his voice by now that any other voice would sound like garbage compared with his. There are times though, when my friends and I would be on a rooftop or someplace really close to a mosque where the speakers happen to be in our faces. Well, we would hear the crackling speakers and look at each other in fear because our ears would be ringing for the next 5 hours after this call to prayer finishes. The speakers are extremely loud! Loud enough so that the entire city is supposed to hear the azan and pray. Therefore, it is everywhere and it is impossible to escape it in Istanbul. Which I think is a great thing, because it keeps you in check and makes you feel unified. Of course, if you’re hung over it could make you feel like shit after humming along to the call to prayer while still slightly intoxicated and dreaming of more alcohol for tonight. But, that’s another story for later.

Time flies, doesn’t it? It’s almost November already! The good news is that I’m getting paid on November 1^st. The bad news is that I still don’t have a working visa and the working conditions are still shit. I have also been slightly homesick lately, but that has been cured with the simplest things ever. I listen to 102.1 The Edge online here. Good old local radio station, Toronto sense of humour and advertising. For your references, you can also access the radio station at www.edge.ca. (Right now, they’re playing Capable by KO...good ole’ Torontonian artists)

Let me talk a little bit about my friends here, because a few of you have been asking. I love my friends here. These are the types of people that Toronto needs more of! Open-minded, funny, full of life, unified, great sense of humour and often gullible! My friends in Toronto were all of those and beyond, and I was lucky enough to find those exact people here. I remember a few weeks ago I wanted to delete my Facebook, but then everyone made me realize that you can use facebook for so much more than just uploading pictures and stalking friends. I use facebook as a communication tool now. Yeah, I’ll blog and flickr, but facebook will help me to schedule appointments and skype dates, yay! Other than that, I will limit the amount of pictures that I upload and the people that I stalk. So now, I’ll have to find something new and exciting to do in my free time. Well, I am still making it through Shantaram. It’s a great read before bed because it’s almost impossible to carry it everywhere and read it while I commute, it’s just too big.

As most of you probably know, I’m completely exhausted most of the time here. Teaching is easy breezy, but my students make it tiring for me. Of course I’m the fun loving teacher and they all enjoy my fun and exciting presence. My classes would consist of games, dancing, running around, and speaking. It gets tiring ahahah! Seriously, these students are great. They’re so funny and we have a great energy feedback relationship going. I had to tell them that if they are great and respectful then I will be fun and respectful back to them. They learned that, so now we all have a fantastic relationship. Apparently, they find joy in hugging me. I got a sweet hug from one student who wasn’t in my class, but often drops in just to say hi. Then after she left, all of my other students approached me and said that they’re jealous of my relationship with her because her and I hug each other, and that they want to hug me too. So, I said ok. Bad idea. They all JUMPED on me! They ALL grabbed onto whatever body part they could find and I got a sweet group hug! They were so close to lifting me up hahaha, but I said no and they didn’t. They’re all so adorable! I should be careful though, they’re all in their first year of university, so they’re practically adults. Anyway, despite the shitty visa and contract and hierarchy situation at work, the students and my coworkers make my days fun and exciting. Anyway, party people back in Toronto, got any plans for this Halloween? I just realized that I’m missing the Toronto Zombie walk this year. For those of you who don’t know about this, a shit load of Torontonians dress up like zombies, and walk like zombies down the streets of Toronto, scaring the shit out of those around them. All of this fun and exciting stuff make me miss Toronto soo much! I think I might start an Improv in Istanbul group and get my friends and do funny things with them. Yeah, sounds great!

Anyway, the night is waiting and I have to get some lesson plans and prepare some games for this week.

I know its a beautiful world but I can't feel it right now

2010-10-15T09:07:00.001-04:00

Did you know that Istanbul was dubbed the cultural capital of 2010? I just found out about this today and I was in disbelief. How do they choose which cities are chosen as a ‘capital for culture’? Yeah, Istanbul has a lot of culture, but it’s not very diverse, or is it? Maybe I’m just super blind and can’t see anything, or maybe the world is blind and Istanbul is just another hub for tourism. Whatever that rubric sheet is, I want to see it!

My Graduation ceremony was yesterday (October 14^th) and I was unfortunate enough to miss that. I would’ve loved to go to my graduation, because I think it’s an official send-off into the ‘real world’. I’m already in the real world (kinda, sorta) but I needed some kind of closure from those 4 years of my life as a student writing papers and researching. Now, I’m a teacher grading papers and watching funny youtube videos online. Life is so unfair sometimes :P One thing that I have noticed though is that my writing ability has turned to shit. It’s like my brains have turned into mush and is about to ooze out of my ears anytime now. I can start an idea or argument, but I can’t find the patience to finish it. I have the attention span of a 3 year old. Or maybe 3 year olds just have a better attention span that I do and I’m falling into the trap of dementia? Ok enough of this nonsense, how is the world treating me you ask? Well, move on to the next paragraph to find out J

The world that is Istanbul has been so-so as of lately. I find myself being exhausted most of the time, and therefore I just want to sleep. I used to sleep over 10 hours back in Toronto, now I barely get 4 hours of sleep per night. Why you ask? Well, my flat mates and I find joy and happiness in either playing some kind of game at home (drinking, board game or just debating about politics and life), attending Erasmus parties (which are THE parties to attend when you’re in Istanbul), or just going to Taksim and hanging out on Istiklal Street. Those of you who know Istanbul will know the famous Istiklal Street, those of you who are from Toronto will find that it’s very similar to Yonge/Dundas Square mixed with College Street, and throw in about 1 million people per day with a bunch of dark alley ways and bars and bookstores and interesting people on the streets. Hey, might as well throw in some Native Indians. Can you believe it? I came all the way here to watch Native Indians perform on the side of Isiklal Street with their instruments, headdress, costumes and the stereotypical Native dance that we know and love. Anyway, back to the emotional reality of Istanbul. I don’t want to say much about how I feel at the moment, but I am starting to gel myself into this culture.

The situation at Bezmialem (the school that I teach at) is still a bit strange. I still don’t have a contract, a working visa or a bank account. I am supposed to get paid on November 1^st and since that’s about 2 weeks away, I’m pretty much stressing out over that, and shitting my pants. As a Canadian passport holder, my visa for Turkey expires in approximately 2 months. Now, If I had a visa from any other country, then I could just leave for a day and go on a visa run and come back. But, Canadians don’t have that luck...anymore. We have to leave the country, stay out for 3 months, and then come back. I might as well kiss my job goodbye! This has been stressing me out lately. I’m also a little broke. Ok, maybe I’m completely broke. I have a little under 200 Liras left with me. What does one do with that grand amount of money? Well, I have to pay for the bloody cell phone with has the worse pay-as-you-go plan ever. I mean seriously, who pays 0.30 kr for texting? Anyway, I update my phone with about 15 or 20 Liras per week. PER WEEK!! Then comes the public transportation situation. In Toronto, we have this thing called ‘TRANSFERS’ which allows you to buy a bus ticket and use it on connecting routes. Smart, isn’t it? Well, in Istanbul, they don’t have that. So, every time I transfer from the bus to the metro (or, train), I have to pay again. Bullshit! Transportation costs are the same.

I must leave now to get back to some real work. Actually, I'm going to play ping pong. Taaa!!!

The first month

2010-10-10T11:11:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Istanbul, where East meets west. It is a wonderful and amazing city, full of life and vibrant people. I will be living here for the next few months, few months meaning a year or so. This all depends on my career direction and where that takes me. I am fortunate enough to live among 5 other international people who are amazing in their own way. I currently live with an American a Spanish girl from Spain who I adore, a new Italian flat mate who I am getting to know and love, and a half German-half Turkish guy who reminds me of most of my friends back in Toronto. Really, life here has been so interesting, so unexpected that it amazes me every single day. Right now, life is a party and I am having the time of my life. Not a party in the literal sense, but you know the feeling that you get when you go to a party: happiness, and pure excitement of meeting new and interesting people.

When I was here last year for an internship with the Women Entrepreneurs Association of Turkey, I was fortunate enough to live in the ‘Asian’ side of Istanbul and I worked in the European side. Now, I live in the European side and work in the Asian side. Awesome, isn’t it? I get to jump continents everyday to get to work. Work is really hectic and has been really crazy as of lately. I recently discovered that my first class doesn’t even know how to say the alphabet! I was so disappointed when I learned about this. You know what this means? It means that I won’t be able to use the allocated textbook for this class. They have to work twice as hard as my other class because they bought the textbook as well. I don’t know what to do...how to get them up to speed.

I’m usually a type of person that visualizes things, and likes to see them in front of me before I can move forward or make any solid decisions. This makes lesson planning a bit difficult for me because I DON’T HAVE A PRINTER!! I NEED A PRINTER! I have to print things so that I can organize myself and know where everything is, or what I teach for each of my class. It has been tough dealing with this problem, especially since the school that I work for doesn’t let its teachers print! What kind of a school is this?!? And, the printer that we have at home is really crappy and...well it doesn’t print. But, it does scan! That means that when my Holga comes, I can digitize my pictures and share them with you...yay!!

My network of friends consists of mostly international people. They’re either Erasmus students from Europe, or they’re English teachers. You know what this means? Both Erasmus and teachers party every day here. That means that I’m either at an Erasmus party, or an English teacher’s night out in Taksim. The nights that I do enjoy are rather simple and often spontaneous. My flat mates and I sometimes stay in and play games or joke around or watch movies. Those nights are much more ‘tranquil’ but fun none the less.

I have been surprised by the weather lately. It has been really cold for the past week or so. I escaped Toronto because of the cold, only to have it come back here and haunt me. I expected Mediterranean type weather!!! Why is it 10C with RAIN! I mean, I enjoy the thunderstorm and what not, and I do like the chilly and windy weather (really, I do!) but I hate the combination. I don’t like it when it’s raining AND cold.

So here you have it, the first month’s update. Please enjoy the pictures below :)

Istanbul- Pictures

2010-10-07T15:15:00.003-04:00

Meet Cristina, she's cool

Meet Burak and Richie, a Turkish man and an American man. The arguments and political conflicts are endless, not only in the world, but in our cozy little flat as well.

Meet my flat mates (minus me and Richie)

Here lies the border between Asia and Europe. Separated by the wondrous Bosporus Sea, you are currently looking at Kadikoy (The Asian side).

Let me welcome you to Taksim, its like Times Square and Yonge/Dundas street combined. I would say that maybe 1 million people pass through this street on a daily basis, Istiklal Street.

I love to have fun with my polaroid :)

Polaroid of a night after Taksim

The Blue Mosque and Aya Sofia lies ahead.

Welcome to Kadikoy, again

Meet Burak and Alba, two of my flat mates

Meet Alba, the cutest Catalan chica you'll ever meet

Meet me

Meet some of my new friends

Meet my coworkers, Ben and Dave

Summer of 2010

2010-09-07T01:57:00.007-04:00

Its officially the day after Labor Day. Summer is over. I am moving to Istanbul next week! My biggest memory of this summer was definitely bungee jumping and road tripping with my amigos :) and of course my polaroid fetish. Enjoy some of the pictures that I took :)

Reasons to Leave

2010-08-29T22:38:00.002-04:00

Why leave?

Many people choose to leave for adventure and just to try something new. Some might even leave to return to old cultural roots. I choose to leave to run away from Toronto. It is a beautiful place and I live a peaceful and comfortable life. But thats just the thing. My life here is comfortable. Some people spend their entire lives searching for comfort but I have it so I want to leave it. And, its not so bad leaving either. Its actually very very easy.

There is always that feeling of the unknown which I crave...daily.

I also feel like I'm running away from my problems...to some extent. Not to say that my life has a lot of problems. They're so rare. But, lately I've noticed a build up in attitude and negativity. I've succeeded in rejecting and pushing everyone away from my life so now I'll take that plunge. This will be my new challenge. Not adapting to a new place and job, but to develop confidence and have trust in people.

Sorry for pushing you all away...

More itchy feet

2010-08-23T03:26:00.001-04:00

Well this time around, I am leaving for Istanbul, Turkey.

I have purchased my ticket TODAY and I leave in a few weeks. Actually, I leave on September 14th. I've never bought a one-way ticket before, only this once. And I can honestly say that it is very liberating. You feel so light and free. No baggage.

Its the best feeling ever!!

Wish me luck everyone. I don't know where my head it. I haven't processed the fact that I'm leaving, and its a scary thing.

Where did the good evidence go?

2010-08-12T00:29:00.008-04:00

This image was created with the intention to elicit a positive response of development. Does it work?

Looking at this image, are you scared? Does this tug at your heart strings? Do you feel compelled to donate money to victims of these countries to help out in any way possible? Do you feel fortunate to be in this country?

Every now and then I like to re-evaluate what I do and why I do it. Maybe that's why life gets so complicated?

Have you ever wondered how the images of the third world are being so misrepresented in our Western and 'developed' society? Of course, being a recent grad, I am starting to evaluate what I've learned and why 'development' is. I remember sitting in my last development class--Advanced Seminars in Development Studies--and the professor posed a question to which no one had a response to: What is development?

My intention is not to sit here and bore you about what development is, because I don't even know how to begin translating my definition into words. But, I am going to attempt to make you take a critical look at mainstream development and the way that our Western society sees development. I have always been critical of the media, and I know now why. The media tends to misrepresent things. Yes, we all know that, but to what extent are things truly misrepresented?

Right now, I am doing a volunteer stint at a non-profit in Toronto called Good Evidence. I enjoy being a researcher here because I know that my research is purposeful. The creation of Good Evidence came form a critical view of the third world. They recognize that the so-called third world is being wrongly represented in the media. While the cause is often amazing, the images that emerge from the media are sickening. The constantly use images of war, violence, poverty and dying children. Is this the real world? Are these the images that we want to be associated with development? Of course not! The reality is that these images can be found anywhere in the world, not just the third world.

Also, many of us are from the third world ourselves. Our families are from there. We grew up there. We traveled there. We traveled the world. We engaged in volunteer stints abroad. And you know what? We all came back with photos that challenges the western notion of development. What about the smiling children? Why don't these images make it in the media? Why does it always have to be starving children who are being endorsed by celebrities? Our society sickens me. We worship these darn celebrities like they are some kind of God. Angelina Jolie adopted a 'starving' child, now everyone should follow.

I am not criticizing what is being done. No. I'm criticizing the way that it is being portrayed! Wake up and smell the mud-huts people! It is very rewarding to challenge these traditional and Western notions of development. Good Evidence seeks to do so by producing alternative documentary style videos, to portray the 'other side' of the third world and the other side of development. Because, while the white man's dollar is valued, it never does create long lasting, positive changes. These changes are done locally. These changes are done by community initiatives.

Think Local

2010-08-01T19:17:00.003-04:00

Now that I'm done school and broke I have time to think and explore. Exploring local things. Its quite amazing the things that happen right here in Toronto. Step out of your material world and step into a new world filled with wonderful things that makes Toronto unique, and that makes the broke graduate happy again :)

Less is better than more.

Local is better than imported

Walking and public transportation is better than driving

Making is better than buying (This applies to food and clothing. Hey, at least now I am learning to cook and fend for myself)

Doing is better than watching.

Natural is better than manufactured. (always)

Mending is better than ending (keep those old friendships alive. After all, they played a role in making me the person that I am today)

Chucks and jeans are better than suits and heels

Beans and rice are better than steak and potatoes.

Books are better than TV's.

Welcome to a whole new world

Because he's awesome, and because I can

2010-07-31T17:02:00.004-04:00

Its true that there is no contest between great singer/songwriter and lyricists. When it comes down to it, I'm drawn to those who were deeply troubled with a crappy life. But, if it wasn't for their crappy life, they wouldn't have become music legends. I have much respect and admiration for Anthony Kiedis, Ian Curtis, Jim Morrison and especially Kurt Cobain. Kurt Cobain especially because of his sometimes awkwardness when he performs. And those of you who know me, know how much I love the awkwardness.

Just because I can, here are some pictures of Kurt Cobain.

Imagine Peace

2010-07-31T04:51:00.004-04:00

Imagine it, breathe it, live it

Each one a promise

Of everything you never found

Here I go with the shameless "peace' posts again. But seriously, Imagine it.

At this point, I'm done school (w0000T!!!) No more essays and all-nighters. As convocation approaches in October, life is at a standstill. I am currently job hunting...because as much as I love my Sport(s)chek job, its making my brain turn to mush.

Roxy needs a job!!

Maybe I should just get a 'peace' bus and drive around the world with it :)

Where I go I just don't know, I got to got to gotta take it slow

2010-07-23T03:36:00.005-04:00

Tonight, there's an emotion in me which I never really put on display. But tonight, this emotion is so strong that I just have to talk it out with people.

Its fear.

Tonight, I have been told that I'm waitlisted to go to South Korea to teach English. This is the scariest feeling ever. Why?

1) *IF* I do manage to go, I will be notified probably one week before I have to leave. Leaving me one week to find a reasonably priced flight, pack for one year and get my visa.

2) Alternative employment. Should I confirm another employment opportunity? Should I

pursue another employment opportunity?

I just don't know what to do!!! I don't want to all of a sudden LEAVE my life. I don't know if I should mentally prepare to leave.

Can I still make other arrangements? Can I still confirm my graduation spot? Can I still do this? Can I still do that?

Most of all, what do I tell my employer? I love my volunteer job, what do I tell the good folks at Good Evidence? CAN I JUST LEAVE???!?!?!?!

I hate being waitlisted.

On a much brighter side, I am officially DONE my undergraduate education NEXT WEEK!! No more essay writing. Exam Prep. Presentation prep. etc.

What else do I need to do? Oh yeah, finish a freaking TEFL Course. Holy batwing, this course takes forever to finish. I have approximately 7 days to finish 17 lessons. I am currently on lesson #3. Fml

Want a picture? Here's a picture!

Guatemala 2008

2010-07-18T21:15:00.005-04:00

Load up your guns and bring your friends,

its fun to lose and to pretend

On top of the roof, the air is so cold and so calm

2010-07-18T20:59:00.003-04:00

I went bungee jumping in Quebec at The Great Canadian Bungee, it was definitely an incredible experience. At first, I was hesitating to jump...I mean, when you're up there looking down its definitely NOT something a human would want to do...but guess what I DID!!!

The moment that I jumped, I didn't feel anything..I thought that I was going to just fall and end my life, but I was yanked back up. But the notion of falling without something to hold you back is definitely scary.

After the jump, I was safely lowered into a tube-boat and taken to shore. The boat sailor is such a sweetheart who I fell in love with at first sight. We had a great conversation for that 2 minutes of boat ride.

Would I do this again? YES!

Was this scarier than skydiving? YES!

Skydiving was so much easier because you are obviously vertical with your head up...not upside down.

Your confusion, my illusion

2010-07-17T02:13:00.006-04:00

Do you know Ian Curtis?

Ian was a songwriter and singer of Joy Division. He committed suicide on May 18th, 1980--- 8 years before my birthday. At such a young age, his band managed to inspire many of the sounds that you hear in rock bands, dating back from the 1980s. He suffered from epilepsy and a failing marriage. To find out more about this incredible story, check out the movie Control which was inspired by his life. When you watch it, tell me that you don't see the frightening resemblance of the actor Sam Riley and Ian Curtis.

The real Ian Curtis

Sam Riley in 'Control'

Joy Division- Atmosphere

Walk in silence,

Don't walk away, in silence.

See the danger,

Always danger,

Endless talking,

Life rebuilding,

Don't walk away.

Walk in silence,

Don't turn away, in silence.

Your confusion,

My illusion,

Worn like a mask of self-hate,

Confronts and then dies.

Don't walk away.

People like you find it easy,

Naked to see,

Walking on air.

Hunting by the rivers,

Through the streets,

Every corner abandoned too soon,

Set down with due care.

Don't walk away in silence,

Don't walk away.

How bad is yours?

2010-07-06T18:10:00.003-04:00

The G20 is in town!

2010-06-27T02:32:00.008-04:00

*****I DID NOT TAKE THESE PICTURES, THEY WERE COPIED FROM FLICKR*******

The G20 is in Toronto. Organizers have marched in the streets of downtown Toronto, and it turned into ugly riots. An international group who are called the "Black Blocs" are using violent tactics to make their voices heard. They have damaged corporate businesses, residential areas, and burned 3 police cars. These are NOT protesters from Toronto! These are violent radicals who are just here in our city to protest. They're going to leave and we have to clean up this mess. This means that OUR taxes are going to be spent on something that they did!

Peace.

Lost photos from Ecuador

2010-06-10T15:13:00.005-04:00

Toronto in the Summer

2010-06-10T14:43:00.008-04:00

Right now...

2010-05-17T01:14:00.001-04:00

Chybíš mi

Tu me manques

Ich vermisse dich

Μου λείπεις

mi manchi

jeg savner deg

Mi-e dor

Я скучаю по тебе

Jag saknar dig

seni ozledim

Pictures from India :)

2010-04-29T03:34:00.005-04:00

Jodhpur-->Bikaner-->Delhi-->Mumbai

2010-04-28T02:26:00.002-04:00

Basic survival things for India:
- Toilet Paper
- Rehydration Salts (Saved me from feeling sick, puking, and having terrible diarrhea)
- Water

Eventhough I drink 10 bottles of water per day, I pee only like once or twice. Scary hahaha. I also managed to not get sick/....yay for me. ALthough, I shouldn't be too happy because I still have one more day to go.

Leaving Jodhpur was a joke. We arrived at the bus station at around midnight with the intention of taking a night bus. We didn't. The night bus was around 6 hours, and it was a normal seater bus. We were just too lazy and tired so we decided to head back to our hotel and spend one more night. We loved it there so it was no question of whether or not to hang out there. Our hotel in Jodhpur....Hari Krishna hotel was amazing, with an equally amazing rooftop restaurant/hangoutspot. So what did we do? We hung out there and we met some wonderful people. We met some French girls, a Dutch girl and 2 Australian guys. Our first night in Jodhpur consisted of drinking some lassi. But not just regular lassi, but 'happy' lassi. Happy Lassi is basically a milkshake with weed in it :) Big smiles...and its totally legal in India. So we drank and drank and enjoyed our happy lassi haha. The next day however, Miral and I decided to climb the nearby fort. This fort was HUGE and filled with uphill climining on a HOT day ....we had no cardio capacity. During the climb I kept on reminding myself that I needed to get in some kind of physical shape when I return..kthnx! There is no way of describing the fort without pictures, so I'll have to upload them later. But once on top, it felt like I was standing on the great wall of China because the thing wraps around the entire city and it was beautifuL!!! Miral and I decided to stay there for the sunset, but we were parched and all of the cafes inside of the fort were closed and we didn't want to walk anymore so we waited and waited...and it was like 6:30 by now so we were like fuck it and we went back. The sun started to set on our way down though lol. At this point, this was the night we decided to leave, but obviously couldn't because our precious butts (especially mine) started to hurt! I can't sit for more than one hour without my ass hurthing...sad indeed.

Next stop: Bikaner
Everyone that we met in Jodhpur were off to their next destination...Jaisalmer. We didn't want to be those people...so we took an alternative route....Bikaner. So we finally got on that bus to Bikaner and arrived at our hotel. What's so special about this place? Well Bikaner offers a camel safari where you ride a camel for about 3-4 hours into the middle of the desert and camp out for the night and return the next day. Now, camping out doesn't mean pretty little tents or sleeping bags or even a cabin....this type of camping consisted of a piece of foam a blanket and the stars above. Yep, we slept in the desert without any protection. I was completely excited for this journey and sure enough we had 3 camels. 2 to ride and one which carried our stuff...like water, food, and our piece of foam to sleep on. We tried our best to avoid the blistering heat (we were in the desert after all) so we headed out at like 4pm.....and the sun was still out...shining right in our faces. After extreme leg cramping (again, I need to get in physical shape in Toronto) but yeah after we arrived at our destination, our guides immediately started to prepare our dinner and we sat under the wonderful sun and enjoyed our time in the desert. By the time darkness rolled around, we were tucked into our pieces of foam with smelly blankets...blankets in the desert? Well thank god we had them because at around midnight the temperature dropped from 35C to 15C and the blankets were much needed...smelly and all. To say how serene and peaceful sleeping in the desert with the stars above and non-stop farting camels next to us is an indescribable experience. Did I mention that we slept next to the camels. Well not next to them....they were kinda next to us on the other side of our 'camp' and one camel in particular was eating the entire night...had diarrhea...farted...burped...basically everything that an Indian person would do on the streets of India. So after a few shooting stars we finally drifted off sleeping.

Delhi:
The next day, we took a train to Delhi. After arriving in Delhi at around 5:30am we headed off to Emmi's family friend's place. Emmi had some old family friends who lived in Delhi. They didn't just live in Delhi, they lived in the most poshed up spot in Delhi. I am so grateful to have met them...and they have a super sweet live...with an apartment that's bigger than my house, a personal driver, a cook, cleaner....all the works. And why shouldn't they, they were the Foreign Corespondents of Sweden and the other had to find inspirations from Ikea. They were amazing, and they completely spoiled us. So, thank you!

Anyway, in Delhi, we saw all of the High Commissions (aka Embassy) such as Canada, Sweden, USA, Australia, Japan....etc. I just recognized them mostly because of how LARGE they each were! They had security guards and stuff ....and most importantly, they had grass on the ground. REAL GRASS!!! I think I forgot to mention that most of India doesn't have grass...so bravo Delhi for having real grass lol.

Mumbai:

Leaving Delhi was such a hassle, well not leaving...but getting a train ticket out. Now I'm in Mumbai. I took a 17 hour train ride...on the last seat left. Well technically, I was on the waiting list....yup number 96 and thanks to Miral's Hindi language experience, I got on the train. I got on on the AC section where they treat you like royalty! meals, snacks, AC hahaha. Now, I'm in Mumbai. I remember how ripped off we got the first time we were here so I'm not afraid to yell at any cab drivers. I managed to bump my hotel down from 700 rupees to 400 rupees. I also yelled at my cab driver who spotted my backpack and tried to charge me 550 rupes for a 10 minute ride. Of course I got the attention of other people and surprise surprise, they actually helped me. I think they tried to help me because it was a guy who tried to get me to his hotel ASAP (they get commission) so I gave the cab driver 300 rupees and told him to have a nice life. Bitch. Now I'm here...I'm off to drink the night away.

Goa-->Hampi-->Mumbai-->Ajmer-->Pushkar-->Jodhpur

2010-04-20T00:30:00.005-04:00

Typical encounter with an Indian dude:
"ALO"
"Vhere from?"
"Vhere going?"
"I give you best price in all India!"
"1-2-3 everything for FREE!!"
"Sleep tight or mosquitoes will bite"

Oh the hilarity of Indian men. I must point out Indian men because there aren't many Indian women that I encounter in India. Funny enough, I fear that the Indian population is either aging due to its older population, yet there is a huge young population...where are the in-betweeners!!?!?!?!? I believe theire all in Mumbai/Delhi trying to get a career started, but its scary that I can't find people my age in and around small towns. Maybe they're secluded in their homes. until the ripe age of marriage? Ok no thats a horrible thing to say...

Due to the time difference between my last blog and now, I can't really remember everything that has been going on, so let me fill you in on the small things that I can remember.
Goa-->Hampi-->Mumbai-->Ajmer-->Pushkar-->Jodhpur

Hampi:
To get to Hampi, you first take a 12 hour bus ride from Goa. We were in the 'sleeper' section of the bus so we spent the entire night bouncing around in the bus-bed aka "berth". Imagine that, can I have a berth in the bus? Upon arrival in Hampi, we were dropped off in the middle of nowhere and it was really cool because everything was built in the ruins of what was once a huge temple site. Monkeys and cows roam around the town like they own the damn place. After an amazing shower and a great breakfast at a roof-top restaurant, our bill arrived with a huge smiley face and a little note that said "be happy in Hampi" and why not? This town has everything that you would want from India. After a tour of the town, we stumbled upon a traveling guru who agreed to read our palm. Apparently I will die when I am 87, Miral goes when she's 76, and Mish when he's 87 as well. Our Swedish friend will die when she's 82. The award for the saddest life goes to Mish, followed by Miral, then me and then Emmi. Their potential lives will remain confidential for now, but my life is ok-ok. So, my husband will have a woman on the side, I will have 2 uber successful children, and some other stuff that I can't quite recall. It was a spiritual experience and a pleasant encounter with such a guru. The tour of the town was quite amazing in a local rickshaw, and I GOT TO DRIVE THE RICKSHAW!!!!!!! it was soooooooo difficult, but I DROVE IT!! :) :) :) Super cool! But yeah, the ruins and sites looked fantastic, and we got tired so after a while it all started to look the same. For dinner, we decided to go to a popular restaurant Mango Tree which was 'right around the corner'. Turns out this restaurant was so far into the jungle that we walked in darkness (no street lights) animals making strange noises and the fear of a snake falling down from a banana tree onto us. When we were walking back, Mish decided to scare the shit out of us by turning around like fucking Freddy and almost scared us off the track!

Mumbai:
Mumbai was HOT! Not in a good way, but in a way where hottness only radiates from hell. Maybe the gate to hell was nearby? The only cool thing about Mumbai was the train! Ohhh the train ride was amazing, because there is no door and you literally hang out from it. But during the day, it was impossible for us to be outside for more than 20 minutes without fear of collapsing. Mumbai is mine and Miral's least favorite city in India. Its divided by class and social status between those who are natives of Mumbai and those who are not. The hate between the two is scary and I don't know if I can ever accept that. Furthermore, for those of you who read Development textbooks, that city that pops into your head when you read about the division between the rich and the poor was right infront of my eyes. In one corner you would find a fancy building, on the next you would find a shanty town with garbage everyhwere!!

Ajmer:
We didn't really do much in Ajmer, but it was a 19 hour train ride from Mumbai. Horrible train ride! When we were moving on the train, you pass deserts and when you stick your hands out the window it was HOT, even hotter than Mumbai. Oh yeah, its about 40C in Mumbai! Fucking 40C!!!! Anyway, we arrived in Ajmer, saw a dead body at the train station. Exited the train station and got clobberd by auto-drivers with conversations similar to the one above. "ALO!!!!" "Where from?" Did I mention that everyone here thinks I'm Indian? Yeah, I think thats part of the reason why I got dreadlocks too!!! Ok back to Ajmer, hotels are massively overpriced for a town which offers nothing. Our landlord was an amazing guy however. At night we went out for beer and it was the only bar in town, which was FILLED with Indian men. We were the only girls and Miral suggested that we sit next to the exit hahaha, for reasons which I will never understand.

Pushkar:
Pushkar is about 30 minutes away from Ajmer. ALL of the tourists were in Pushkar. Why we didn't go to Pushkar first, I'll never know. This was an amazing day trip though. It was a beautiful day. The temperature was about 35C but it was super breezy. I think they said we had a sand storm that day and we did, and they sky was all hazy looking it was amazing. We wandered around this small town, bought some amazing things, everyone was super friendly, honestly one of the best towns in India. We booked a camel safari and at 5pm went out on that. My leg muscles are still recovering, but it was an awesome experieince! Our camel (Miral and I shared a camel) but on our camel, we almost fell off. His name was "Johnson" and he went a little crazy at one point and started running and we had literally nothng to hold onto and while running it tilted from side to side and I straddled that bad boy with my body hanging off of it. Like I said, my leg muscles are still recovering. Honestly, an amazing experience, because we were in the desert riding a freaking camel!!! I wish I could upload pictures :(

Jodhpur:
After a mere 5 hour bus ride from Ajmer to Jodhpur, here I am writing to you all :) I haven't discovered much of this beautiful town yet, but we are staying at this awesome hotel/guesthouse with an amazing rooft0p view of a fort. The fort wraps around the town and without all of these houses/hotels, it looks like what could be a scene from Lord of the Rings: Two Towers...remember that war scene?? :D That's the only way I can describe it. Anyway, we plan on wandering around in a few hours. Its 10AM and its super hot outside. We wait until the sun simmers down a little to do all of the hectic stuff.

Well, my experience in India is like no other. Its not the typical Indian-native experience, but from the eyes of a tourist, its a country which offers so much more! From beautiful sandy beaches, to chaotic cities, to small towns (where alcohol wasn't allowed), to war forts still standing today, and deserts and camels.....its something that everyone has to experience at least once in their lifetime. Even if this means that you have to take multiple showers/day. And even if this means that when I do shower, I can see the dirty water sliding off my body, and the unbearable heat. But I think this is a great time to visit because its low-tourist season and if you're on a budget, everything is cheaper right now. For example, our luxury beach hut in Goa was only Rs. 500/niight, and on a typical touristy night it would've been over Rs1000!! My finger nails have no been clean since I left Canada, and my feet has this weird tan burinng throuhgh my sandals. Note to self: bring crocs next time I come to India.

After we leave this province (Rajastan), we plan on heading north to the foot of the mountains which is described as 'heaven on earth'. Its also a lot cooler because we will be in the mountains. One of the main reasons that I'm excited about the north is because I get to go PARAGLIDING!!!!!! yeahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Peace

When in India...

2010-04-14T03:17:00.002-04:00

So after a 2 days commute to India, I'm finally here and its not exactly like I expected it to be. First of all, the upon arrival to the airport in Mumbai, I had to transfer to Goa with a domestic flight. Funny enough, the airline shares the same name with one of the most popular beer in India, Kingfisher. After a, what can only be described as painfully long, 5 hour wait at the airport between 12-5am, I finally arrived in Goa at 6am on Sunday. Those of you keeping tabs, I left Toronto at 7pm on Friday evening!! You can imagine the torture my butt went through.

Day 1- Sunday April 11th: Spent most of the day waiting for Miral with a girl that I met at the Mumbai airport. We spent the rest of the day eating and drinking at a nearby beach. Hey, what else can you do when you're sitting around in abnormally hot weather and a beach staring at you while the waves are crashing? So anyway, we finally met Miral at around 1pm. All is good. We did some research and decided to go to a more popular beach. Keep in mind, all of the beaches in Goa are beautiful and equally popular, but since its not tourist season only about one or 2 beaches will get a regular influx of toursits and have the accommodating 24 hour bars. We spend that night drinking and eating and chatting. Keep in mind, this will be the same routine for the next few days.

Day 2- Monday April 12th: Most of this day was spent doing the exact same as mentioned above. Eating, drinking, reading a good book and enjoying what can only be described at as paradise. After a stroll at the local bazaar/market, we lost Miral...again. That girl has a habit of wandering off. So Emmi (my new Swedish friend) and I decided to stroll around on our own in hopes of finding Miral and Mish (Miral's companion) at one of our neutral spots. At this point, we are staying at a 'luxury' beach hut which is a sweet ocean front set-up. What more can you ask for? Our hut on stilts, hammock, fan, working toilet...yep paradise. So anyway, Emmi and I stumbled firstly upon a woman who does sweet dreadlocks. I decided to complete my head and do dreadlocks. However, I don't think I would've afforded that price and I didn't get it. It was rougly $140 when I converted the price. And that was after bargaining!!!! I think I'll stick with my mane for the next 3 weeks...its a mane cause my hair aint pretty. Emmi and I later took a walk and ended up crossing a patch of rocks to this sweet ocean view away from the beach. I wish I could upload pictures, but sadly I don't have a usb. Anyway, upon crossing a bunch of boulder rocks, I fell (duh) and scraped my leg. This would've been fine, and it was, until you discover how ugly sand, salty water and a fresh wound can be.

Day 3- Tuesday April 13th: Today the dogs were barking and howling like mo'fos! We decided that the would predict an earthquake or something nearby. Anyway today (Wednesday, we read of an earthquake in China, coincidence? I fink not!) Today we went to a nearby beach, and its beautiful! We spent the entire afternoon there and ate and played games and discussed regular backpackers stuff. I mean, when you're on a beach what else CAN you do? After stumbling back to our beach, we once again ended up at our favourite 24 hour joint. By the way if the bartender gives you a 20rs. (approx. $0.10) shot, don't drink it. But we did. And ohhhhhh how some of us regret it! But after an intense game of pool and fooseball (which I suck at by the way) the night winded down with a leisurely stroll back to our hut and we collapsed on our respected bed.

Day 4- Wednesday April 14th: Did I mention earthquake in China? Messed up! Anyway, today we booked a bus ticket to a nearby city (Hampi). Bye bye paradise, hello ruins!! I'm excited, mostly because of no more sand in my wound and no more fear of an infection..but its all good. I have travel insurance, muhaha. Now, I'm at an internet cafe attempting to reconnect with reality. Cheesy much?

Alright tataaa!!

Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

2010-03-29T23:13:00.011-04:00

Nisha enjoying her Budweiser

The girls and I went to Montreal the past weekend of March 13-15th.

The entire weekend was comprised of beer consumption and bar hopping hahaha. Given that it was the weekend of the St Patrick's Day parade, beer was an essential component of our trip. Nisha drank beer, for the first time, EVER. She loved it! I must say, she finished one of her beer before me, and everytime she finished, we cheered!! :)

Notice Nisha looking all happy with her delicious Budweiser in her hand :)

Mehtaab also let loose and had a great time. I introduced the ladies to my friends Ariana (who I met while in Turkey in the summer, she happened to be the receptionist at the place that I interned at); and John (who volunteered with me in Guatemala). It was really great to see some old friends again, and honestly the time spent with them in Montreal was so so short, and I really want to go back.

Mehtaab and me at a shisha place (Orienthé). It was really cool because we had to take off our shoes to get in.

Mehtaab enjoying her girly/fruity "beer"

Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

2010-03-29T22:45:00.008-04:00

Two weeks left until I go to India!!! I am beyond excited!

Things to do before I go:

- 2 massive essays (3000 words EACH)

- 1 tiny assignment

- 1 Spanish Test

- 1 Presentation

- 1 Final Exam (Done 5 hours BEFORE MY FLIGHT!!!)

Today I purchased a really thin sleeping bag. I hope it will suffice throughout my trip :) I think that I am prepared I just hope that I can get my Indian visa in time for my actual trip. They have a really weird visa issuing process which can take anywhere from 10 days to 15. Its a bit scary especially since they don't issue same-day 'emergency' visas for Tourists. Frustrating, yes!! Here is the guideline for their processing time:

This is for anyone getting a Tourist visa in Toronto:

Ø Canadian National (4 - 5 W/days)

Ø Non-Canadian National (10 - 15 W/days)

Ø Afghani, Iran, China, DPRK, Bangladesh , (PPT Holders/Origin (4 Weeks)

Ø Sri-Lanka (PPT Holders/Origin (6 - 7 Weeks)

At this point, I am crossing my fingers and waiting for good luck.

What else has been going on?

I went to a Dashboard Confessional concert with a friend, and it was AMAZING! I've always loved Dashboard, but the vibe in that place was amazing, everyone had pure love for the band and the band loved the audience back. I've never been to a concert where the audience takes over and sings...for the entire concert!!!

Here are some pictures:

*photo credits go to Mehtaab :)

Chris Cabbarra is always always always amazing. And that voice! And that hat! Beyond perfection.

Socially, life has been lacking a little something something. I am buried in my books and going out means staying with the crowd that I am with. This is so rare, I love to mingle. haha. This all got especially worse since I got a volunteer position with an NGO called Good Evidence where I am a researcher. Time commitments aren't that bad, but its just another hectic thing on my plate right now. I don't think I know anyone with such a range of activities going on right now. Seriously: school, volunteer, job, trip to New York and trip to India. I could quite easily lock myself in a room and scream right now...but I won't. Know why? CAUSE I FREAKING SAW CHRIS CABBARRA LIVE!!!! hahaha, its the only thing keeping me going right now.

Ask me how many times I've replayed Dashboard tunes on my ipod? hahaha

Now that I am done with my procrastination, I shall return to the wonderful art of essay construction. Tonight, I have to complete one essay and complete one short project. Tomorrow will be a hectic day, I have to meet up with a presentation group as well as attend my volunteer placement. Wednesday will be even worse because I have a presentation, followed by intense test review and then work until 10pm.

10 more days and this will all be over :)

"And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration

One good stretch before our hibernation

Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well..."

GOING TO INDIA!!

2010-01-15T20:33:00.005-05:00

Hey ya'll,

I just booked my ticket to INDIA! I've never been to India. I have heard a lot about it. I'm excited. Can't wait!

Why am I going? Mostly because my friend is doing her co-op session for IDS in India, so I'll go there and we'll travel around for a bit.

I'm super excited, and ofcourse I'll keep this blog alive with my experience there. Definitely will be different.

If anyone is a fan of Miike Snow, check out the video for BURIAL. It was done in India. I got culture shock just watching that video...very intense indeed!

w00t!!

Dates:

April 9th - April 30th

An Open Letter to Winter.

2010-01-09T04:02:00.002-05:00

Dear WINTER,

I hate you and I want to break up. I am not happy with our current relationship, and frankly, I have been having a lot of dreams about SUMMER. I know you don't like Summer that much, but I feel as if our relationship is FROZEN and not going anywhere. I hope you understand how COLD our relationship is.

Love,

Roxanne

Google Streetview FTW!

2009-12-26T18:59:00.003-05:00

Click to view larger image

Squirrels inside the Student Centre at York University

2009-12-15T02:29:00.001-05:00

Tell someone they're a good person

2009-12-14T02:12:00.002-05:00

Tell someone (a friend, stranger, teacher etc.) : " You are a good person"... and mean it. Just by doing that, you may have lifted someone's spirits! :)

Also, smile at someone everyday!!

Awesome Life Moment #912

2009-11-15T20:48:00.004-05:00

Hanging y our hand out the window of a car

On a warm, sunny day, driving in a car with the window open and your hair

whipping around everywhere, what’s better than letting your hand slip safely out that window and letting it wildly roller-coaster against the wind?

You know how it is: that speeding car creates a strong and forceful wind pocket that’s fun to ride, and as you let it slip and slide across your fingers, you can kind of close

your eyes and pretend you’re just flying along.

AWESOME!

2009-11-10T13:45:00.001-05:00

"Hamper"

Will always tickle my funny bone

October 2009

2009-10-24T03:57:00.002-04:00

I'm really excited about my mid-terms coming to an end. Being back into school mode has been a struggle this year. I don't know what it is, but I'm just so unmotivated to complete my readings/essays/homework and studying. Everything is really simple this year as well. The readings are also easier to get done, the research for my essays are super easy. Not to mention my essays are no more than 2500 words (so far). Everything's so easy.

I guess I'm just really lazy.

By the way, the rain is belting it outside right now.

Here's an amazing picture that I found by Tyler Shields photography. Tyler Shields = amazing photographer! Very creative. I especially enjoy his video portraits. But until I can figure out how to upload videos and stuff, this picture will suffice.

What's it like being back?

2009-09-05T01:33:00.002-04:00

What's it like being back in Toronto?

It feels weird as hell. Its like I'm having an out-of-body experience. I know I belong here with my friends and family. Toronto is my home. Its weird how my mind still lingers in Turkey.

Sunset behind the Blue Mosque

A really awesome Turk

A really awesome day

The best office crew

Reflection for KAGIDER

2009-09-05T01:31:00.002-04:00

I was asked to write a reflection for KAGIDER about my internship experience. I think its appropriate to share it with everyone :)

I was fortunate enough to spend13 weeks of my summer vacation as an intern at KAGIDER.

I am a 21 years old undergraduate student at York University pursuing a degree in International Development. I came to KAGIDER as a York International Intern, a program in which approximately 56 students at York University are chosen to complete a 13 weeks internship program abroad. Remy and I were the fortunate ones to be interns at a well established organization, KAGIDER.

The Work:

As an International Development student, I must choose a specific developmental area in which I would later work with. Being at KAGIDER, I have been exposed to working with Women and Development, as well as Economic, Entrepreneurial and Leadership Development. My work has been diversified and I am grateful that I was exposed to the various developmental areas of an NGO.

During our first week at KAGIDER, Remy and I were immediately exposed to KAGIDER’s first International Women Entrepreneurs and Leadership Summit, as well as the well organized EU Days at KAGIDER. Not only were we exposed to the valuable information presented, but we were also fortunate enough to make essential contacts through effective networking.

We were given various challenges which enable us to break our moulds as students and enter the ‘real world’. There were times when I had to sacrifice formality for efficiency. For example, when writing the post-summit reviews, I had to break the mould and make my summaries precise. It is also important to mention that Nuray further helped and encouraged me to present effective information in an efficient and confident matter.

My research and organization skills have also improved because we were fortunate enough to work on a compiled database for KAGIDER. There are millions of NGOs out there; it was definitely not an easy task to choose the most appropriate ones for KAGIDER.

Finally, we were fortunate enough to be a part of the upcoming WEL Fund. Here, I learned about the most crucial parts of developing a successful NGO, and that is the Funding Process. My duties involved precise research to choose the most appropriate and possible funders for KAGIDER’s WEL Fund.

The Lifestyle:

Coming to Istanbul was a challenge in itself. I have no previous knowledge of the culture or its peoples. Luckily, Zeynep connected me with a wonderful Turkish family who accepted me with open arms. What better way to learn about the Turkish culture than to live with a Turkish family? Zeynep introduced me to one of KAGIDER’s beloved member, Ayşe Köroğlu. Living with Ayşe’s family helped me overcome any feelings of homesickness. I am especially thankful for this opportunity and would recommend this type of accommodation to the future KAGIDER interns. I consider Ayşe’s family to be that of my own and they will forever be a part of me.

To conclude, I came to Turkey with specific goals, only to leave with the knowledge that I have gained through my experience. All of my expectations and goals have been exceeded, which makes me believe that this journey was definitely worth while. I have also gained the confidence to travel to the different parts of Turkey to experience the other cultures. I have traveled to Amasra, Cappadocia, Ephesus, Pamukkale, Bodrum, Fethiye/Oludeniz/Marmaris, Kaş, and Olympos. My favorite place in Istanbul is without a doubt, Kadiköy. The best place to meet like minded tourists was Olympos. My favorite place to test my fear of heights is Fethiye. And of course, the best place to enjoy hamsi is Amasra. I hope to one day return to Turkey and experience the progress and growth of KAGIDER and the power of women.

My experience at a Turkish Hamam (Bath)

2009-08-27T03:48:00.005-04:00

I recently visited a Turkish bath. I made sure that I did the solid research on this before heading out and stripping down so a woman can scrub me. I decided to go to a local hamam, to have a more authentic experience. Tourists hamam usually rip you off and give you less quality.

The package deal:

For 40TL I got a bath, hot oil massage, and an unnamed massage. Going to a tourist hamam, I would pay about 80-100TL for just a bath and a massage.

A hamam is a steam bath and it is the Ottoman's way of bathing.

The first step of the bath is to strip down (underwear optional) and sit in a really hot room and sweat for about 20 minutes. Then my Tellak (masseur) came in with a rough cloth used to provide deep clensing. I was basically scrubbed down from neck down to my toes by a strange woman. My helpless body was just lying there on the hot marble in the middle of the room. Fun no? Anyway, this process is to cleanse the body of dead skin cells and revitalize it. I didn't know I had so much dirt/dead skin cells on me. The lady kept on scrubbing and saying "Good" throughout the process. My self esteem dropped a few points to the point where I had no more shame. Being respectable, I wore underwear to my bath. During my bath, the woman didn't take off my underwear, but proceeded to give me a wedgie just so she can scrub my but. Yep, my wet panties were logged into my ass, as my ass cheeks were being scrubbed, no wait, they were being cleansed and revitalized. She also did this with my massage and proceeded to massage my ass cheeks.

Moving on...

After my scrub, she gave me a type of massage with lots of soap suds and a towel filled with air. I don't know what it was called, but it felt really really good. After a layer of my skin was scrubbed off, this was like a breath of fresh air. She then watered me down from head to toe and sent me to the cool room, where I am supposed to wait for about 15 minutes. I don't know why I was waiting in a hot marble room for 20 minutes only to be sent to a colder room for 15 minutes. My skin felt increadibly clean and smooth though.

Moving on to my hot oil massage. It was partly excruciating, and yet partly nice. After the cold room, I was led into a massage room. The woman giving the massage didn't have the gentlest fingers ever. Lets just say she wasn't exactly Phoebe from 'Friends'. She yanked my panties up again and massaged my ass cheeks. She got really worried when she got to my shoulders, I wouldn't blame her they are super tensed, but she took a different approach to my tensed shoulders. Instead of gently massaging them, she chose to pretend I was a piece of meat that needed to be stewed. So she pounded on my shoulders. Thank god my head was in that massage table hole because the look on my face said "I'll pay you 100TL to STOP!".

Well a wonderful experience indeed. It was a lot more positive than the other blogs that I've read about their horrible experiences at Turkish Hamams.

I tipped the lady 5TL when I left.

Happy Ramadan!! (Warning: Do NOT read if you are a smoker)

2009-08-26T03:14:00.005-04:00

As many of you probably know by now, Ramadan in Istanbul has started. Technically it started on August 21st. Muslims are expected to fast during Ramadan. Fasting starts from 6:25am and lasts until roughly 7:45pm, allowing Muslims to fast for approximately 13 hours and 21 minutes.

What does fasting involve?

No eating, drinking, smoking, swearing, indecent behavior, or sexual acts during the fasting hours. It is supposed to teach Muslims patience, modesty and spirituality. I am able to observe this in Istanbul, where everything has changed. Cafes and Restaurants are pretty much isolated during lunch hours.

One of the positive things about Ramadan? No one is allowed to smoke during fasting hours. I realized this today when I sniffed the air and it was kinda clean. There was no scent of nicotine to pollute the air, thus giving my lungs a break from second-hand smoking. Usually, I walk for about 30-40 minutes to get to work and during that time I am completely surrounded by those who feel the need to suck on their cancer sticks and speeding up the process of death. I actually did the research and found out that smoking will shave about 8 years off of your life, in which case most people die before 70. I should probably also mention that smokers have a higher chance at Cancer, Cardiovascular Disease, Respiratory Problems, and of course, Tooth Decay. How attractive?

I'm not going to school you on the ugliness of smoking, but I look at those who smoke and always ask the question...Why?

I've tried it once here. And by once, I mean that I puffed once, caughed and never touched that shit again. I was also told that it gets better over time. Well, NO THANKS! What's your definition of better? No more caughing? No more smoke burning your eyes? No more smelly fingers/clothes/breath?

I'll stick to coffee.

The main reason that I wrote this blog is because I am REALLY happy to finally walk to and from work and not be surrounded by smokers. In a city with approximately 15 million people and cheap cigarettes, everyone smokes and it is virtually impossible to escape from smokers. It doesn't bother me that much to have people smoke, but after 3 months of this...I'm really getting sick of it. Feel free to smoke all you want, its your body and your choice, just don't bring my health down with you.

Lets hope this Ramadan is a good one and influence people to stop sucking on those cancer sticks.

Assignment 5- Take Away

2009-08-24T03:15:00.007-04:00

I had a dream...

A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was pregnant. (Ok, those of you reading this, stop laughing) When I woke up I got really freaked out, I've never had a dream like that before. I'll call it a nightmare. Anyway, I decided to look up dream dictionaries and such online and found out that dreaming of pregnancy represents "New growth in your life". A rebirth in my life. It means that I have changed so so so much.

This week's assignment, I have to talk about what I will take away from this experience. I have been avoiding this assignment for the longest time now. Larissa, why are you doing this to us?

Being in Turkey, one of the greatest things that I learned here is to appreciate every thing that comes and goes in your life. I can't tell you how many people I met here, how many inspirational and funny people. I was just having a conversation with the girl that I live with saying that my expectations of people have been set so so high. I'm not only talking about the Turkish people, but there are many travelers as well who share the same views that I do, on everything! I can't begin to tell you how many times I called my friends back home just to say that I met my soul mate. The reality is that I didn't meet my soulmate (duh), I just met the people who I feel that I can be myself with. I feel this way because I know that I'll never see them again. Its such a carefree feeling. I find that when I act this way, the best of me comes out!

Being from Toronto, I always had this thing that people are judging me. Everyone has that feeling now and then, because we judge people also. Its human nature to be envious or jealous or whatever, its how we feel better about ourselves. Now I learned to meet people and just relax. Think that I'll never see them again and put my best smile forward.

PS: I'm going home in exactly 7 days. I am so so afraid to go back. Apparently this fear is a natural thing. There are going to be so many changes and there are going to be times where I'm going to feel lonely, depressed and really hate Toronto because it doesn't provide an environment in which I can be carefree. When describing Toronto to others, I start to realize how regulated everything is and how there are so many laws. Laws like you can't jaywalk. You can't smoke anywhere. You can't do this, you can't do that. You have to do it this way, and not that way. Ya know? I am really going to miss being carefree.

Turkish Coffee. I was drinking my coffee and looked into the cup and saw a little heart. Very cute.

2009-08-16T09:14:00.008-04:00

I'm back from my super awesome vacation. I can say that I met enough Europeans, Aussies and New Zealanders. I have seen waaaaay too many tombs and ancient theatres. I have experienced the adrenaline rush of paragliding, rafting and cave canoeing.

Ok the bus situation in Turkey? Apparently if you're a single woman, you are not allowed to sit next to a single male on the bus. How do I know this? Well, I went through hell and back just to book my 15 hour bus ticket back to Istanbul, and I got the LAST seat on the bus (that's what you get for booking late). The guys who sold me the ticket were arguing because I was a female and the last seat was situated next to a male. I ended up yelling at them, and they finally sold me the ticket. I thought that was the end of that problem, but on the bus as they were coming around to check the tickets, I got moved at the next stop because I was a woman. Yep! Turkey is faaaaaaaaaaar from modernized in that department.

I should probably also mention that Remy was right. I do have a fanclub. The men really love me. they love me so much that I got to sit on the roof of the jeep to go paragliding (with my male tandem), I got to sit in the front of the bus many (vip seats), I got free boat rides (yes, that's plural), I got free food, free drinks, free bracelets, free dinners at hostels, and free scarves. Is it my looks or my personality? I dont think I'm the ONLY tourist that jokes around the locals and treat them like they are human-beings rather than "3rd world country locals".

Anyway, here are some pictures. If you click on them they get bigger....ohlala

well preserved ancient Greek city, Ephesus

Here is the Ephesus Library, built in 117AD. Under the library is a secret tunnel for men to use to visit the nearby Brothel. Men would lie to their wives and say that they're going to the library. Clever

Why it helps to be friendly with the locals? You get FREE private boat trips around the Kas harbour until 3am. Que the shooting stars :)

Paragliding over Oludeniz. 2000m high. Roughly 6561 ft

Snow in 37 degrees? Its actually calcium and water. Apparently good for the skin. And Cleopatra swam in this too. It's Pamukkale

Here I am standing in the water

Another Ancient theatre. Just behind it is the Gate to Hell. It was blocked off by archeologists

I have itchy feet

2009-07-31T08:12:00.005-04:00

So this is going to be my last post for a while. Can you believe it, we made it 2 months! We're practically adults now! hahaha Responsibilities and deadlines and meetings and presentations...oh my. I can say that i'm almost a pro now.

So I have the well known itchy feet syndrome and I must go on vacation. Its my first time taking time off from work and I am super excited to see the other parts of Turkey. Remy's friend will be visiting from India, so they will venture off to other parts of Turkey and bond. I will be venturing off solo :) y travel itenerary includes, but not limited to...

1) Efes + Selcuk

2) Bodrum

3) Denizli- Pamukkale + Afrodisias

4) Fethiye- Oludeniz, Kelebek Vadisi, Kaya

5) Kalkan, Kas, Mavi Magara, Kekova

6) Olympos

7) Antalya

As you can see from this wonderfully provided map of Turkey, I will be in the Western coast.

Upon return, the office will be completely changed. Rina, our Secretary General and beloved supervisor will be leaving KAGIDER and venturing off with her own company and other committments. Remy and I will miss her soo much. We won't know who her replacement is until we return from our vacation. Its a bit scary, its like the first day of work all over again. Anyway this is a picture collage that I scrambled together as a part of her going away present. Rina is the woman with short dark hair and wearing a dress in almost every picture.

Assignment 4- Tourist or Tempest?

2009-07-27T08:02:00.008-04:00

WHY is the time flying by so fast? There are so many things that I want to do here. Its not fair! I wish I was a local.

This leads me to my next blog post: Am I a tourist? or, Am I a local?

Remy and I enjoying some local Nargile

To bring more confusion into my life, I must now question my existence in my host country and how I handle myself and distinguish myself from the locals and from the fellow tourists and expats.

There are weekends where I let myself go and explored Turkey like a tourist, but what made me different from the tourists with the camera hanging down their necks is that I actually appreciate where I am. I have seen many tourists who take advantage of where they are, you know like another backpack-patch type of tourism. Having lived in Istanbul, venturing off to another city allows me to see the different parts of Turkey that makes Turkey unique.

Yes, I am a tourist because I do go to the popular tourist-hot spots, but am I not allowed to belong with my fellow tourists? I do not live in Turkey, and frankly I don't know when I will be back, and I seek every travel opportunity that I get to meet fellow English speakers and view exotic Turkish sights that make you stop and say, "Am I still in TURKEY?"

On the other hand, I blend in well with the locals...until I open my mouth. I've noticed that no matter where I go, I blend in with the locals thanks to my skin color. Most Turks think that I'm Turkish, until I speak and don't know how to properly carry on a conversation in Turkish. I have taken Turkish lessons and can speak well (my Turkish accent gets a lot of compliments!), but when it comes to talking for more than 5 minutes in Turkish, my cover is blown and I'm immediately a foreigner! I like the fact that I blend in with the locals because I get treated like one, especially at the markets! (I don't pay foreign prices, I pay the local price haha). I've also noticed that many locals (especially mothers/older women) disrespect foreigners. I don't know what tourists have done in their eyes, but they glare at the big-camera=big-wallet people. Turkish men think that foreign women are easy, that's why Turkish men act the way they do around foreign women. I blame the media.

When I am among fellow tourists I find myself defending Istanbul. For example, I live on the Asian side of Istanbul which is less populated with foreigners because according to the precious guidebook, there is nothing to see on the Asian side of Istanbul. Many tourists are shocked and amazed that the Asian side does have something to offer, at which point I feel a sense of locality because I live among the locals and got the chance to experience Turkey away from the guidebook. That makes me a little bit selfish because I do get to gloat about the awesomeness of my situation, but at the same time, do I handle myself well as a tourist? I think that there are some times where I go all gaga and snap away pictures with my camera, but I dress a lot more conservative than most of the Turkish women, and I DO NOT LITTER! EVER! The garbage ends up in my bag/garbage bin. I hope that sets an example for the locals to not litter also. If its one thing that I hate, its litter in a beautiful city.

One of my tourism trade mark is that I make others HUG TREES :)

Cappadocia Pictures

2009-07-22T03:41:00.003-04:00

Amazing view from Hot Air Balloon Ride at sunrise over Cappadocia

Around 3-9million years ago, 4 volcanoes surrounding the area decided to erupt (at different times). This is why there are different layers and shapes to the rocks due to time and erosion.

The well known Fairy Chimeys

Cappadocia

2009-07-20T02:28:00.008-04:00

This weekend I let myself go and I wanted so badly to feel like a tourist. I've been in the groove of the Turkish lifestyle for too long. On the bus, I met other tourists and I immediately turned into a 'local'. Their experience of Istanbul was only for 4-5 days in Sultanahmet. Sultanahmet is tourist central (you know this because street signs are in english as well). These people have never experienced other parts of Istanbul, because of their guide book! I live on the Asian side so I told them the wonderful things there is to explore there and around Istanbul, and as their jaws dropped, I felt a sense of pride, to belong in Istanbul. Sneaky, isn't it?

I finally made it out to Cappadocia this weekend. With an 11 hour bus ride (one way), I couldn't sleep partly because I was excited and taking in the scenery and partly because I was a bit uncomfortable. None the less, I arrived in Cappadocia (Urgup) with a smile on my face and my comfortable shoes ready to explore the underground cities and the fairy chimnies and the volcanoes and the rock formation, hot air balloon ride, and most of all, my cave hotel. I stayed in a freaking cave for the weekend!!

My trip was partly guided and partly solo (well, with other travelers, of course). The guide took us to the fairy chimnies, the rock formations, the rock castle and everything rocky you could think of. There was even a "Pigeon Valley" where holes were dug in the rocks for pigeons to live in so that they humans can go in later and take their poop and use it to make the oh-so-delicious Cappadocian Wine. (Fyi, the poop was used for fertilizers).

The most amazing and most memorable part of my weekend is a tie between the fabulous people that I met and the Hot Air Balloon ride. I met wonderful, funny travellers who were just a blimp in my life and made my Cappadocian experience better. To the Korean girls, to the British guys, to the Canadian University of Ottawa professors, to the Spanish people from Argentina and Spain, to the Turkish travellers, to the Australian chicas from the Hot Air Balloon ride, to the Belgium guys and to the fabulous hotel crew, thank you for making my 2 short days in Cappadocia extra special.

My hot air balloon ride was A-MA-ZiNG! The balloon went up and we floated above Cappadocia and witnessed the sun rise over Cappadocia is truly a once-in-a-lifetime everyone must do this experience.

And the best part of the weekend?

Upon exiting another attraction in Cappadocia, there is a market to shop. Carefully placed there for us tourists, you know? So what's a girl to do other than shop? So I walked around the market and browsed at the same things in different stalls. One man yelled "NAME" at me. Annoyed, I turned around and he said "NAME!?!?" and at this point I got really frustrated that someone would have the balls to speak to a woman like this so I yelled at him. Here is how our conversation went...

Man: NAME?

Me giving man 'eff-off' glare

Man getting frustrated: NAME?!?!??!!

Me: Is that how you ask a lady for her name? You should have some respect and learn how to speak to people!!!

Man turns red, lowers his head, and takes the walk of shame

- The End-

I cannot believe I had the guts to do that! I can't believe the adrenaline that went through my body to provoke me to say such a thing to a stranger. It felt so...so...liberating. When he walked away, I intented to continue to browse the shops, and to my surprise there were about 15 women behind me, smiling and applauding for me. When I turned around women were clapping and saying 'well done' to me. It felt good, it felt really really good :)

No matter where you go, there are always going to be those men that will do anything to make a woman feel uncomfortable because they feel that they are the man. I guess the only thing that you can do is to deal with it and be straight up front about it. When I talked to my co-workers about things like this they said that men in Turkey are pigs like that, but when you talk back they get easily scared and probably beat up themselves about it. Now I know have an invisible, strong weapon in Turkey. I don't know the case for other countries because men can be more agressive, but most Turkish men don't expect women to talk back to them, and when women do ...then magical things happen.

Unfortunately, there aren't any pictures up...yet. I arrived back in Istanbul at 7:30am Monday and I had to be at work for 9am. I'm super tired, and I didnt make a trip home to get my adaptor for my camera, so pictures will be up tmrw.

Festivals all around!

2009-07-16T03:29:00.006-04:00

Over the past few weeks, I have had the experience of going to various festivals and concerts. Being in Istanbul has brought a lot of firsts into my life. This time, its my first concert, and the lucky performer was.................................Katy Perry! Not exactly what I had in mind, but my host sister was determined to take me to my first concert, so I went.

What made this concert experience extra special was that I experienced it with Turkish people :) It was really funny listening to the crowd sing along to Katy Perry songs. Of course they knew only a few, like "I kissed a girl", "You're so gay", "Hot and cold", and "Waking up in Vegas". It was REALLY REALLY funny listening to Turks sings these songs because they only knew the chorus. I occasionally turned to my host-sister to ask her if she knew what the lyrics meant and she did!

Ceylan and I (Host sister)

Eylul and I

Maybe you can see Katy Perry jumping around on the left part of the stage with her hand in the air

Last week I went to an Electronic Festival. THAT was a totally different experience. There were many many many TURKS who were dancing away to various DJs doing their thing. It was packed, maybe about 500+ people attended. Most of them were between the ages of 18-25. The atmosphere was awesome, the drinks were expensive, the toilets were dirty and I didn't mind one bit because it was all outdoors! I got to see starssssss!! (I'm a sucker for stars). Thankfully, we had male companions who occasionally rescued me and my host sister from the creepy dancers who looked like they were on drugs. These men were dancing like the way someone dances when no one was around, except there were lots of people around and they didnt care. I had fun watching them, but when they got close, our male friends swooped in and rescued us *sign*. I think they said that some of the guys were on acid...hmm not sure.
Lovely Stage Area

Crowd

When you dance your ass off at 3am at concerts and festivals with lovely people surrounding you, you know you're having a good time. And I sure am!

Blog #3- To change or not to change?

2009-07-10T10:47:00.006-04:00

One year ago I was in Guatemala, and look at me now, I’m in Turkey! So many changes have happened to me over the past year that I cannot start to imagine. When I look at myself 2 years ago, I laugh at the ridiculous things that I did back then, but now its all starting to make sense. 2 years ago when I said stuff about ‘socialism’ or ‘bottom-up’ people would look at me and laugh…now look whose laughing…

This blog assignment is a bit difficult for me because I won’t be able to see the most recent changes until I return home. I’ll give it my best to fish out these things that make me stop and say…”Wait..did I just do that..?”

The ‘Low’ Fruit

For the 2 cities in Turkey that I have had the joy of experiencing (so far), I find them to be very ‘European-ized’. It is common to greet someone by saying “Good Morning” or “Good Day” in Turkish, followed by a kiss on both cheeks. I’ve never been to Europe before so I haven’t been familiarized with kissing on both cheeks, so you can imagine how many times I screw up. I pull away after one cheek then the other person still leans in and waits for the 2^nd cheek….Awkward…

Food is eaten with a knife and fork/spoon. After every meal you get wet toilettes to wipe your hands and you’re good to go. Most often the prices at markets are set with price tags, however, in some markets you can bargain, just be smart about it. Taxi drivers don’t usually bargain with you as they prefer to follow the taxi meter. Jeans and converse is widely popular in Turkey, however I dress

smart-casual for work. I think I’ve mastered the art of wearing fancy shoes and walking for 2 hours everyday. I find that I dress a lot more ‘womanly’ here. I work in an all-female (except for 1 guy) organization where these women believe that to truly enjoy success and power, you must embrace your feminine side. So ditch those slacks and embrace the skirts, dresses and chunky jeweleries ladies!!

I find a huge contradiction, the people drive fast and walk slow. People walk soo unbelievably slow and they take up the sidewalk. Everytime I walk behind someone I immediately fist up (that facebook group “I secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of their heads” immediately pops into my head). I have to then proceed to pierce my way between them. While I’m in no particular rush, I finally learned to slow down.

The Fruit that you pick on your tippy-toes

Since I work in a formal organization, I speak formally, properly. Since the English that most Turks know are proper English, I find myself using less slang words to communicate. Small accomplishment? People also never swear and I really like that. In terms of speaking, my voice is a lot more ‘controlled’ in the office. Duh, its an office, you kind of have to speak quieter and slower.

The office has gotten a lot quieter since the conferences/summits are completed, there are only 2 full time and 2 interns (Remy and I). Its so quiet. Yilmez (the IT guy) keeps me sane. I absolutely despise the office environment so now I tend to sit next to the window in the gallery. Yes, our office has an art gallery. So now I have the joy of experiencing the sun and finally productively working with a smile on my face. The work is actually enjoyable now :)

Zee Ofis windows

Zee Ofis blueprint/layout

The ‘High’ fruit

Ah! Gender roles. Where to begin? Women in Istanbul are so liberated that it’s amazing to see women embrace femininity and empowerment. Since I came to Istanbul, I confidently walk with my head up and a smile on my face!

"Slow down!" That’s one thing that I learned here. Everything that I do, I used to do it so fast. I used to walk fast, eat fast, grab-a-coffee-to-go fast, even get my work done fast. I think it’s a North American thing to be super fast because we’re always on the go....and because Time is Money But now I tend to get my coffee, sit and enjoy it.

I also feel a lot freer here. Everyday feels like its floating by. Its super easy to get along with people here because everyone is super nice and hospitable (except for the creepy guys). Trust has become an issue with me here because I’m sure you’ve all heard about Turkish men. I guess they always feel like they are in a porno movie with the invisible camera or something, but being around Turkish men (who don’t respect personal space) is really scary. I have actually become a lot more suspicious when meeting new people. Even asking or directions or getting in a cab or sitting next to someone on a bus has become a paranoid issue for me (Stupid Turkish men ruining my experience!!!). I guess it’s a good thing to be safe, but I feel as if I am missing out on the experience of meeting new people.

In spite of the language barrier and paranoia, I have made a lot of friends!! Especially now that I live with the host family, I’ve had the opportunity to meet a lot more people that are my age and go to university. It’s nice to be able to have a commonality with complete strangers. We have the same music taste, we have the same university experiences, we have the same type of friends and relationship issues…it’s actually a bit scary how similar our lives are …even in different countries.

Since Remy and I now live in different accommodations, I find that I am experiencing Turkey the way that I always pictured it in my head. Things are done at a set pace; and getting lost doesn’t mean freaking out. Freaking out is such an awkward feeling/emotion and its not pleasant at all! Those of you who know me know that I don’t tend to freak out over the tiniest things, and I thought that I would in Turkey because it’s a new country and a different language, but it somehow feels like home. Its almost impossible to get lost to the point where you shit your pants in Istanbul, because every road leads to the Bosphrous Sea Port and when you’re there, just hop on a boat and you’re home :) Even if that doesn’t work, just ask someone for help or take a bus or take a taksi or take a dolmus and you’re golden! Its empowering to have that feeling of belonging, of knowing where you are and how to get around.

The End.

(See I told you this was going to be a really bad post. Its so abstract that it just doesn’t make sense. In a way its who I am, complicated and fun to read haha)

Friendly thought

2009-07-01T03:56:00.003-04:00

Why are women always the victims? Why are we always seen as the ones who need to be 'rescued', 'liberated' or 'implemented' into society?

Why not educate men? Why not liberate them to open their eyes to see the power of those around them?

Instead of a headline stating that "2/3 women are victims of sexual abuse" why not say that "2/3 Men sexually abuse women"???

Men see the power of women daily. They have their mothers, siblings, wife, co-workers, friends...and yet they refuse to acknowledge that women are strong (or stronger) than them.

Are men threatened?

Pictures of the new place

2009-06-29T02:48:00.006-04:00

I have provided a few pictures of the view from my new place. In times like these, I wish I was an artist, but I am severely challenged when it comes to drawing. I can only draw stick people, but that too ain't pretty.

View of the Bosphorus(A major trading route, and also the river that divides Asia and Europe)

Sunset outside of my balcony (Topkapi Palace is viewable to the left of the sun

Asia!!

It took me 28 days to realize this...

2009-06-29T02:40:00.004-04:00

This morning I opened the door in my room which leads to the balcony outside of my room. My door is situated at the head of my bed, so I lazily stretched to open it. A whiff of air quickly hit my face and I felt all of my tiredness and unwillingness to wake up quickly vanished. I quickly sniffed around to see what died. I also feared that there was a fat man on my balcony and he had farted the second I opened my door. But, unfortunately nothing died. Even worse? There aren't any fat men on my balcony. I guess Istanbul really does stink.

My room

100 TL for watermelon and water?

2009-06-25T05:23:00.005-04:00

I recently dined with the 'elites' of Istanbul. These are a few of the super successful women entrepreneurs that are member of Kagider (the organization that I am working with). They do these regular meeting sessions at a really fancy restaurant and they just talk. Talk about business, feed ideas off each other, talk about their family...it was really nice to see how the women entrepreneurs do things. I must admit that I felt a bit underdressed, but the food and the views were amazing!!! At the end of this meeting, they each dished out about 100 TL each. Holy crap, did they just pay 800 TL for some appetizers, watermelon, cheese, water, coffee and tea? Or, did they just leave a reallly raelly generous tip?

I will be moving tomorrow and living with one of the members. Keep in mind that this is a really successful woman who started her own Pharmacy and now has 3 chains in Turkey. Whats really great about these women entrepreneurs is that they make the time to enjoy their family life and they still manage to run their businesses. Its really inspiring! I might even start my own business (Ok, I might be getting ahead of myself).

Ok so I will be moving into a a host family's home (aka the Kagider member) and she is a really nice woman and her family is increadibly nice and hospitable (like many Turks). They currently reside in the freaking penthouse suite of one of the most nicest appartment buildings in Turkey. Its so nice that you can't even feel that the elevator is moving ..and that feeling is so rare. Seriously, I felt like an idiot when I got in the elevator and we were just standing there. The elevator didn't make any sound to indicate that it was moving. So we just stood there, and I asked if we were moving LOL, oh man...I felt like a loser, then I saw the numbers climing.....14, 15, 16...

As I approached her flat, I walked out to the balcony, and omg the view was breathtaking, its unbelievably beautiful! I can see the Black Sea, the Bospherous, the Prince's Islands...Istanbul...Everything!!! Its gorgeous (I'll post up pics later). This will be a great place for me to just...I dunno..take it all in. Another plus? No rent! I will be going to the Grand Bazaar on Saturday to celebrate this small victory.

I must say I am having a really good time here.

As interns, what are our duties?

2009-06-22T11:05:00.003-04:00

I absolutely love my job and the people that I work with...and I am learning sooo much, but it somehow makes me feel incapable. I don't know if incapable is the right word.

I'm at work with these wonderfully accomplished women, and here I am all undergrad status and all. I feel a bit intimidated. On the one hand, I feel qualified, because I am among these people, feeding off of their brains, but on the other hand I'm reading up on the other interns blogs and Im a bit jealous. We recently had EU days at Kagider (a 2 days conference) and even before that we had a summit, I was the youngest person in attendance and most panelists and big-named people were impressed. Some actually thought that I was from the media...but no no I am from the organization which organized all of this. That's the good part. The bad part? I didn't help organize it. Yes, I am an intern, and that means that I;m hungry for work. I crave it. I demand it. Yet, I don't get it.

So, am I incapable?

Sunset over the Black Sea

2009-06-22T07:28:00.005-04:00

I spent the weekend at the Black Sea Coast in a small town, Amasra. My time there was peaceful and very 'anti-city'. While there I enjoyed deliciously fresh fish and saw the most amazing sunset and stars!!! There was a full sky of stars :) I decided to share my experience with you by uploading a picture of the sunset. You better appreciate this picture because I climbed a steep hill to take it.

Assignment 2- Set the Scene (Life in the big bad bull)

2009-06-22T07:02:00.010-04:00

Two weeks in Istanbul and I believe that I am ready to complete this assignment, however, Istanbul is a very big city and there are a lot of things to do and see. On a daily basis, I see shipping tanks, giant bridges, palaces (picture), mosques, boats...and cats (lots and lots of cats).

The city life in Istanbul varies greatly depending on where you live. To be fully immersed in the metropolitan/business life you have to go to the European side of Istanbul. Keep in mind that Istanbul boarders Asia and Europe. We currently reside in Asia and we commute daily to Europe. On the Asian side, it is often described as a more relaxed, less noisy, youthful side. I love the Asian side much better because it’s the 'off beaten' track of Istanbul. It’s so beautiful and relaxing and there are cute little cafes and tea gardens (picture) that dot the street corners. The European side is much more busy and metropolitan and filled with tourists. Think of the European side as the 'downtown Toronto'.

We live in an all girls dorm, and our landlords are great people. We feel very safe and protected in there because we know that our landlords always consult with us when we have visitors. If I could write about how amazing Turkish people are, then that would take up another page. Anyway, we have to pretty much fend for ourselves because we can't cook. Remy and I can't cook and we have no dishes so we buy our food. There are cafes right outside so we indulge ourselves in Çay (tea), limonata (lemonade), Kofte (kabobs), or patata (fries) and other delicious Turkish food. We also get spoiled at work where we get pizza or chinese food for lunch (Chinese in turkey is amazing).
On a daily basis, we would walk for about 15 minutes to get the 8:30 ferry over to the European side (we have the option of taking the bus...but we prefer the boats). Then we get on 2 trains. In total, about a 30 minute commute. Then we walk another 15 minutes (down a steep hill) to work. After work, we walk to the ferry and proceed to taking the ferry. There are about 5 different modes of transportation here...but no matter what you take...its ALWAYS packed!! This kind of reminds me of Toronto a little bit, but Toronto only has “rush-hour”. In Istanbul, there is no such thing as ‘rush hour’ because there is traffic all day and night (traffic in the water). You have the option of taking the ferry boat, dolmuş (aka minivan), buses, trains and taxi. We tried all of them.

Don’t even get me started on crossing the streets. I really hope that Turks have life-insurance because it is IMPOSSIBLE! Cars do not stop for you. Ever. If you somehow find yourself crossing the streets, make sure you look both sides and RUN. Crossing signs and street lights are solely for decorative purposes. Cars have the right of way.

One thing that really surprised me in Istanbul is the striking contrast of the old mixed with the new. We are fortunate enough to see palaces and mosques that date back to 1500 BC or even 500 AD. Then, in the background of those are large bridges and skyscrapers, which often spoil the view. Take for example the Camii mosque which dates back to 1853. Right above the mosque is the view of a modern bridge.

Sometimes in the water, there are LARGE cargo ships which (always have the right of way) and spoil the view of Istanbul. I knew the river was going to be filled with boats, but we didn’t expect to see cargo ships, war ships, or even submarines! Also, I did not expect the traffic to be this bad, at all. It seems to me like the streets were designed to look ‘nice’ or ‘European’, but they are not practical when it comes to accommodating the number of cars or people in Istanbul. Another striking difference? Turks smoke a lot! Everyone here smokes everywhere. Whereas in Toronto it is considered impolite to smoke in restaurants, cars, or anywhere for that matter, Turks have it easy. If you are a smoker, this is your haven. If you just quit smoking, this is your hell. If you are a non-smoker (like me) then good luck! Laws are starting to be implemented, but right now Turks really like that cancer stick and enjoy it pretty much anywhere.

What is considered beautiful in Turkey? Thin, blonde and skinny (pretty much the 'European' vision of beauty). Could this be why Turks smoke everything they see? What else is considered beautiful? Tattoos! Who knew? Everyone has a tattoo and if you don't then you're considered to be conservative. If you wear converse, have a tattoo and smoke..then you're really really cool in Istanbul. I'm almost there!!! :) I guess I just need to smoke now.....yuck!

My first time!!

2009-06-12T20:41:00.005-04:00

Today was my first time.........................seeing graffiti artists in action. These pictures were taken at 3:30am in Istanbul.You can see my excitement!

Only in Istanbul will I work in Europe and live in Asia

2009-06-09T04:31:00.009-04:00

I was going to write this blog when I got my work schedule, but its taking forever. Kind of frustrating actually. Its almost two weeks now and I still don't know what I'll be doing. Apparently, we will be delegated to different spheres of this organization sometime today but its already 2:31pm and I'm waiting. Last week they were busy organizing their Summit and now they are doing post-summit activities. We were fortunate enough to write the concluding/summary report for the summit, and now that we're done...I'm......bored. And, they know that I'm bored. They can see it in my eyes. I sometimes blame it on the jetlag, but I'm bored. I've never really liked the 'office' and being here in the office makes me so bored.

We are told to bring our own laptop to work. So we do just that. If anyone knows my laptop they'll know that my arm muscles will be amazingly toned upon return. My laptop weighs about 10 lbs. I'm not even joking. Its a Dell laptop that was bought 3 years ago so you know its heavy.

On the subject of food, I would do anything for a home-cooked meal right now. We don't have any pots or pans so we don't really cook anything and we buy our food. And, its pretty convenient to buy food, there is a cafe everywhere. Like there are maybe 10 of them within 1 minute of our flat. The cafes here are amazing. I enjoy the culture of everyone being outside and chilling at the cafe which happens to have tables and chairs outside.

Also, one of the most amazing things about this experience is the fact that i live in Asia and work in Europe. Its amazing! We take a ferry boat to work every day and we get amazing views of the Bosphorus Bridge and we see palaces and jelly fishes and submarines :) The weather is beautiful so it makes our commute so much more enjoyable. The atmosphere and the weather and the culture and the people are all beautiful. I will really miss the chilled out culture. I realize that in Toronto most people just hide in their homes after a day at work or at school. Turks do the complete opposite. They'll stay out late and chill out by the shore or enjoy a nice cafe or just walk around Taksim Square (aka. the heart of downtown Toronto). Think of Istanbul as very architecturally European, but still very cultural. Turks hold on to their culture and I really like that about them. They'll do the most European things and live a very 'european' lifestyle, but underneath all of that they manage to relate back to their religion and culture and that makes them special. As a wise Turk once told me, "Turks aren't Asian, Turk's aren't European, Turks are Turks" and I completely agree.

Furthermore, my trip will be incomplete without skydiving, paragliding, and bungee jumping. Remy and I met some guys and they thought I was crazy for wanting to do something like that but they were still friendly and willing to help us find these places.

On the topic of friendliness, people here are super nice! Everyone and anyone will talk to you. We know that we are in good company. We are treated with respect and sometimes we are babied. Upon arrival, our landlord picked us up from the seaport and he bought us dinner and we had dinner in his office with him and his brother. Turks are really funny by the way! And on our first day of work, our superviser picked us up from our flat, chatted with our landlord, took us to work, bought us lunch...man we have it good. Maybe a little too good? Maybe its a good thing, maybe its not.

Summoned to the Summit!

2009-06-05T13:45:00.007-04:00

Leadership, Forums, and Hillary Clinton- Oh My!

Today was the final day for the First International Women Entrepreneur and Leadership Summit. This summit consisted of speakers who presented on various topics which are useful for women entrepreneurs, not only in Turkey but all around the world. Various noted panelists spoke about issues such as the economic entrepreneurial climate in Turkey, the role of women in Turkey, Turkey’s induction into the EU, the inclusion of women in politics and most importantly entrepreneurship versus intrapreneurship --- to name a few.

Those who attended ranged from Stefanie Babst, Aynur Bektaş, Meral Egemen, Michael Leigh from the EU, Melanne Verveer (pictured to the right), Zouera Youssoufou from the IFC and of course Hillary Clinton via video conference. Not only did these women discuss the challenges that we face daily, but they all challenged the status-quo of society and made their way to the top. These are all successful women who are also super intimidating and we were among them, smelling them, shaking their hands, and having lunch with them. Remy and I were THE youngest members who attended. We did not have any specific entrepreneurial goal but we both had the passion to implement change in this world—at a local level :)

While we were interns at Kagider, the organizer of the summit, it felt really great to introduce myself as an intern of Kagider, therefore I made amazing contacts and networking. They were all really surprised that I am an undergrad, impressed actually.

I felt a bit conflicted at this summit because I am not a strong supporter of the Turkey-EU partnership and I am not a neoliberalist. I do not support some of these things but I think that having more women and their ability to analyze everything thoroughly might make me change my mind. Many of these women have a passion to incorporate local development with international business, so its like with their business success, they give back money to their communities. One man even agreed that the global financial crisis is the result of males dominating the corporate world---because men tend to act on the basis of getting more money, where as when women act in the business world, they act on the basis of risk analysis. they always consider the pros and cons and they take into consideration their surroundings.

By the way, jetlags are ugly.

What is my culture?

2009-06-03T08:16:00.005-04:00

As our first blog assignment we are given the challenge of defining our culture. Now, this task would be amazing for someone who knows who they are and what they want to do, but for someone like me, this is a nightmare!

This task brings me back to my interview where I found myself discussing how my culture portrays who I really am. I didn’t have one single answer for this question because the person that I am can’t be defined in one word. I am a Muslim, but do I really practice it? I am Guyanese, but do I really act like a typical ‘Guyanese’?

I think that we look at culture in a very stereotypical way. As humans, we always judge people and cultures. Canadians are portrayed as the nice, beer drinking, toque wearing people. Guyanese are considered rum drinking, soca dancing, laugh out loud people. Me? I’m more of a tree-hugging, embracing the moment, challenging the status quo type of person.

These traits of mine are adopted through different cultures. My Canadian side allows me to be very time oriented and arrive 5 minutes early, communicate through email and to follow the rules and do things step-by-step. My Guyanese side conflicts with my Canadian side. My Guyanese side doesn’t follow the rules, or do things formally, or communicate via email. No matter where I end up living in life, I will always come back to those traits that helped to define the type of person that I am, but how do I identify myself if the two things that make me who I am conflict? I think that these help me to judge my surroundings and act accordingly. It helps me to be critical and to absorb everything around me. It also helps me to be time oriented and to shout really loudly to communicate with someone, instead of using a phone. Seriously, my parents would call my cell phone to tell me to join them for dinner…and I would be in my room- just one floor above them. (how Canadian is that?)

Does my religion define who I am? I’d like to think that I am a Muslim, but the way that I carry myself makes me question my true religion. Being in Istanbul helps me to see a newer side to Muslim women. Not only am I learning that Muslim women in Istanbul show skin and talk to men, but this empowers me and makes me feel that my religion and my culture can coexist.

By definition, my culture is abstract. I do not like to relate to one specific culture. I am a nurtured person where I adopt different traits from my environment. I do not believe that my personality traits are intrinsic; I think that they are adapted. I think that’s why its so difficult to come back home, because we change so much and our friends and family are still the same people who they were. Lets see what happens upon return. No matter what, I know that some of my cultural traits are always going to be with me. I will always arrive 5 minutes early, even in Turkey where its normal to arrive 1 hour later.

I've Arrived!

2009-06-01T08:36:00.003-04:00

I'm in Turkey. I'm safe.

My sister just texted me to see if I'm alive because she saw that an Air France plane crashed in the Atlantic. Well this got me worried for 2 reasons. I was just on Air France. Secondly, Remy is on her way to Istanbul, and I don't remember if her flight was Air France. So luckily for me the Istanbul Airport has free internet, so I googled it and luckily the plane was coming from Brazil, not Toronto. Well, not luckily. I mean it sucks for those who crashed, but...you know what I mean.

Anywho, I'm in the airport waiting for Remy. I have about 2 hours more to wait for her. In the mean time, I got in contact with KAGIDER and Zeynep told me she got in contact with our landlord and we have a place to stay, yippie!

So on my way here, I had my layover in Paris. We arrived at sunrise so the sunrise was on the left of the plane and the Eiffel Tower was on the right. When we were landing in Istanbul, there's this heart shaped Island. I heard about it before, but always thought it didn't exist. Anywho, I googled a picture and this is pretty much what I saw from the plane.

New phone number!!

2009-05-29T03:03:00.003-04:00

I have a new phone number, you can call me for FREE!!! Isn't that exciting. Well, according to the website, you can call me for free...yay!

here's my new number:

+44-792-447-9001

If I don't answer you can text me, or leave a voice mail and i'll call you back.

I also have skype: roxannerahim

Yeh, i'm excited.

ok, bye!

Homeless in Turkey?

2009-05-27T17:57:00.001-04:00

Yes, I am up at 1:30 am hunting for a home in Turkey instead of doing my essay, but hey at least I won't be homeless in Istanbul, right?

I sure hope not!

Last week was all rosy and I had a home in Istanbul, with a beautiful view, awesome landlord and only $250/month. Sounds too good to be true right? Well it was. Last week I met with another York student who is an international student from Istanbul, so he knows all of the ins and outs of Turkey. He advised me that the location of my too-good-to-be-true-home-in-Istanbul is 2 hours away from my placement, so we gave it up. Now we're on the hunt, again.

As of now, we are calling up countless Hostels in Istanbul trying to get accommodated for at least a month. At this point, we have sacrificed a private bathroom in hopes of lowering our monthly rent by a couple houndred Euros. As of now, we are finding places that are at least 800 Euros per month, which is roughly $1300 CAD, which is going to be divided by 2 people so about $650/month. Its high-tourist season in Istanbul so hopefully they will sympathize with us and give us a price of 600Euros. We're playing that whole, "We are students on a budged and we are afraid of not finding a place to stay so please help us out" card.

I honestly can't wait to get there! House hunting in Istanbul would be better in Istanbul, than in Toronto. A lot of places are asking for deposits, and we can't afford to trust them. Also, being in Istanbul means not having to write essays and preparing for exams. Sounds exciting, no?

Chao

Intro

2009-05-27T17:54:00.000-04:00

I am an International Development Honors student at York University; on my way to Turkey with the super-competitive York International Internship.

The organization that I will be working with KAGIDER aka the Women Entrepreneurs Association of Turkey which basically aims at developing entrepreneurship among women to strengten the status of women economically and socially. I totally stole the latter part of that from the YIIP website. Once overseas, I will be:

Searching similar practices, potential networks and funding opportunities
Attending seminars and conferences in English
Preparing summaries and presentations
Reorganizing material
Editing English material for the project

Obviously I'm super excited and can't wait for this, but I'm still scared. This blog will be about my experiences in Turkey and at KAGIDER. I have lots to do before heading out. How do you pack for 3 months? Better yet, how much do you pack for 3 months? Yikes!

I would like to start my first entry with my single favorite quote,

"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a Communist." -- Dom Hélder Pessoa Câmara

Think about it. Read it over again.

Roxanne aka Waheeda (Yes, I have 2 first names)

ROXY

New blog

“My Smile is the make-up I wear...”

I got my Holga!

I know its a beautiful world but I can't feel it right now

The first month

Istanbul- Pictures

Summer of 2010

Reasons to Leave

More itchy feet

Where did the good evidence go?

Think Local

Because he's awesome, and because I can

Imagine Peace

Where I go I just don't know, I got to got to gotta take it slow

On top of the roof, the air is so cold and so calm

Your confusion, my illusion

How bad is yours?

The G20 is in town!

Lost photos from Ecuador

Toronto in the Summer

Right now...

Pictures from India :)

Jodhpur-->Bikaner-->Delhi-->Mumbai

Goa-->Hampi-->Mumbai-->Ajmer-->Pushkar-->Jodhpur

When in India...

Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

GOING TO INDIA!!

An Open Letter to Winter.

Dear WINTER,

Love,

Roxanne

Google Streetview FTW!

Squirrels inside the Student Centre at York University

Tell someone they're a good person

Awesome Life Moment #912

Hanging your hand out the window of a car

October 2009

What's it like being back?

Reflection for KAGIDER

My experience at a Turkish Hamam (Bath)

Happy Ramadan!! (Warning: Do NOT read if you are a smoker)

Assignment 5- Take Away

I have itchy feet

Assignment 4- Tourist or Tempest?

Cappadocia Pictures

Cappadocia

Festivals all around!

Blog #3- To change or not to change?

Friendly thought

Pictures of the new place

It took me 28 days to realize this...

100 TL for watermelon and water?

As interns, what are our duties?

Sunset over the Black Sea

Assignment 2- Set the Scene (Life in the big bad bull)

My first time!!

Only in Istanbul will I work in Europe and live in Asia

Summoned to the Summit!

What is my culture?

I've Arrived!

New phone number!!

Homeless in Turkey?

Intro

Hanging y our hand out the window of a car